That's Not My Name
by piper maru duchovny
Summary: In the throes of passion... the right name might be helpful. SMACKED! Post Pay-up/Pre-Epilogue


**That's Not My Name**

**Summary: In the throes of passion... the right name might be helpful.**

**A/N: Because we're all too up tight and bitchy over this damn storyline, I pretty much had to write this. Plus it's late and when it's late Jenna and I come up with the BEST ideas. Seriously, we could probably cure World Hunger at 2 am. **

**Dedication: Jenna.... cause she gave me the idea**

**Disclaimer: If I owned them, there'd be more laughs, more sex, and way less science. **

_Sex. Two people consumating a relationship. No, that totally doesn't fit this. Fu- I cannot use the 'F'-word around Stella! I mean... she'd probably wash my mouth out with soap if I thought of her and the 'F'-word in the same setence. Yeah, way to go Loser. You're nailing someone who calls you 'Kiddo'. Nailing? Jesus, Adam, you're an idiot. Quit refering to yourself in the third person, that's a really dumbass move. _Adam Ross shook his head and tried to focus on the Yankees bating averages as he copulated with Stella Bonasera.

Stella's nails trailed down his back. _This is awkward. Should I say something? Dammit Brain, do me a favor and turn the fuck off! I.. oh screw.. I'm a guy... it's sex. _

"Oh Mac." Stella growled in his ear. Big, flashing sirens went off in Adam's brain. Slowly he removed himself from her and rolled away.

"Well... that killed it." Adam draped an arm across his face.

"I just said 'Mac' didn't I?" Stella asked softly, "Adam.... I.... I'm..."

"It's fine. I'll never be able to have sex again, but I hear it's a nice life as a monk." Adam quipped, unable to look his boss in the eye.

"Adam." Stella rolled over and burried her head in his pillow, her shoulders shaking.

"Are you crying or laughing?" Adam chuckled.

"This shouldn't be funny." Stella's voice was muffled as she laughed into the pillow.

Adam snorted, "This was....."

"An awkward, dumb idea?" Stella tilted her head to face him.

"Something like that." Adam laughed, "Although this probably would've done wonders for my street cred."

Stella's chest hurt from laughing so hard, "You have street cred?"

"Are you kidding? I am so totally hip. Blake wishes he could be me." Adam made a silly face.

"Alright, Kiddo." Stella cringed at the nickname, "I'm gonna get unnaked. Close your eyes." Stella poked him in the chest.

Adam covered his face with his hands and Stella climbed out of the bed, "So....the boss huh?"

"Shut up, Adam." Stella sing-songed as she pulled on her underwear, "That topic is closed. "

"Oh come on Stell. You cried out Mac's name in my bed." Adam's voice was muffled by the palms of his hands, "I'm never having sex again. You can at least not lie to me."

"Adam." Stella growled.

"I'm pretty sure it went 'Maaaac' instead." Adam teased as Stella's shoe connected with his head.

"Adam!" Stella rolled her eyes as she pulled her shirt back on, "Okay, I'm decent."

"Damn." Adam chuckled, "Anyways, seriously, Stella. Tell him. Cause he loves you."

"Mac... doesn't love me." Stella gave a sad smile, "Not the way I love him anyways."

Adam handed her her shoe, "You'll never know until you try."

"Anyways." Stella shook her head, "Since... this... is over, what are you gonna do with the rest of your night?"

Adam dropped his head to the side theatrically, "I think I need some porn and pizza therapy."

"Adam!" Stella's hand connected with his bare arm.

"Ouch!" Adam pouted.

"Cupcake." Stella smiled, "Have fun with your porn and pizza."

"Have fun in the land of denial." Adam smiled.

Stella dropped a kiss to his cheek, "I am sorry, Kiddo."

"Just go tell him, Stell. Somebody deserves to get laid tonight." Adam laughed.

--

Stella stood on the stoop of Mac Taylor's apartment, head resting against the door. She raised her hand to knock and dropped it. She repeated the process for several minutes before the door opened and she almost fell to the floor -had it not been for Mac catching her.

"Stella? What are you doing here?" Mac asked, his thumb rubbing gently against her elbow.

"I... I..." Stella searched for the right words.

"Stella? Are you okay?" Mac asked, his hand tracing over her hair and shoulder, searching for any sign that something was wrong.

"I'm fine. Adam's a monk. And everything is really screwed up." Stella ranted.

"What?" Mac raised an eyebrow.

"I did something really stupid tonight." Stella let herself into his apartment and paced in front of him.

"Stupid? What do you mean?" Mac tried to piece the information together.

"I was sitting at home and I was all alone. And I hate that and I'm tired of being alone. I was sitting there eating Ben and Jerry's from the carton, watching some dumb lifetime movie -you know how much I hate those. I was just so sick of it. I didn't want to be alone anymore! So, I went to Adam's. Which is a dumb idea in and of itself, but he was the first person that came to mind. I would've come here, but I didn't want to bother you. And well, one thing lead to another and I had sex with Adam." Stella took a deep breath.

"You wha-"

"Well, I don't think anything that awkward qualifies as sex. And I mean, he's never gonna be able to have sex again. Poor Kiddo. Anyways, I mean, I know that'd mess me up if someone called your name out in bed. Actually.. that'd be really bad, but that's besides the point."

Mac's head was spinning.

"I called your name out during sex. And Adam's really sweet and managed to laugh about it. But I feel really stupid and really bad. And I'm just... the most horrible person ever. I didn't want to tell you this, but you're my best friend. I don't have anyone else to go to about this. So, could you forget that I called your name and give me some advice right now? Cause I can't breathe and I'm freaking out right now, Mac." Stella ran a hand through her curls.

"You slept with Adam?" Mac choked out.

"BIGGER PICTURE MAC!" Stella exclaimed.

Mac's face was stuck somewhere between horrified and excited, "You slept with Adam and while you were doing that, you called out my name?"

"Ding. Ding. Ding. He finally gets it." Stella resumed her pacing.

"Give me two seconds to adjust and catch up." Mac fired back.

"Mac." Stella's voice began to break.

"Why?" Mac asked.

"What?"

"Why did you say my name?"

"I dunno.." Stella collapsed in a chair.

"You're lying." Mac countered, sitting on the coffee table in front of her.

"How the hell do you know I'm lying?" Stella huffed.

"You bite your lip when you lie." Mac replied, "Stop getting off track."

"Cause I like you. Are you happy now?" Stella growled, "I like you in that stupid, cheesy, third grade, I wanna hold your hand, write you silly notes, be your everything kind of way."

"Yeah." Mac leaned forward, his lips brushing against hers, "I'm happy now."

--

"What are we doing?" Adam asked Danny and Lindsay as he sat at the stool in front of the mass-spec.

"Watching." Lindsay pointed at Mac's office.

"They're kissing." Danny nearly squealed.

"Oh yeah." Adam shrugged.

"Why aren't you surprised?" Lindsay questioned, turning back to her results.

"She cried out his name in someone else's bed. You owe me six hundred bucks, Messers." Adam held out his hand.

"But how do you-" Danny started and then stopped suddenly.

Lindsay's jaw dropped, "ADAM!?"

"Ewww." Danny's face contorted.

Adam accepted their money, "Only time hearing someone else's name in my bed has been worth it."

Danny and Lindsay spoke simultaneously, "It's happened more than once?"

**A/N: I'm sure this is grossly out of character, but I figure everyone's opinion is that sex act was also grossly out of character. **


End file.
